TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER WRITTEN

[OldUsedParts]

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.

I want people to know why I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.

Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

[Rambo]

I especially like the last one

[OldUsedParts]

I especially like the last one

YEAH, Me also - - - it probably should have been up on top at #1 spot

[spacetrucker]

The lord cant keep his hand over my mouth, cause I constantly keep my foot in it...

[Rambo]

:whiteflag:
The lord cant keep his hand over my mouth, cause I constantly keep my foot in it...

Amen Brother

[Boots]

The scars on my face are to remind me of the best lessons I’ve learned.

The wrinkles in my eyes are from always trying to see things right.

The sore back is from carrying my family on my shoulders, because that’s my job.

My tired feet are from climbing a hill only to find another one ahead, and then climbing that one too. And the one after that.

I learned being smart is more important than being intelligent, and having something to say is more important than saying something.

The bruises on my knuckles are from the courage of my convictions, the callouses from the humility to pick up the shovel, and the lumps on my head are from leaning not to be stupid.

Most important of all, the bruises on my knees are from understanding I don’t have all the answers, and have to ask for help from the One that has all of them.

And the virtue of getting old is still being alive to use all those lessons to do good.

[OldUsedParts]

Well Said, Boots, Well Said

[Rambo]

Well said Boots