Death Bed

Put your funniest internet jokes + anything that pokes fun at Bubbas.

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okie sawbones USER_AVATAR
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Death Bed

Postby Okie Sawbones » Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:14 am

An 87-year old man, on his death bed and in pain, smells the aroma of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies coming from outside his bedroom. He thinks to himself, "my dear wife must be making my favorite cookies as a sentiment to our final hours together." So he musters up what little strength he has remaining in his feeble body and drags himself out of bed.

Fighting off the pain and weakness, he stumbles into the hallway, down the stairs, and to the kitchen door. There, on the table, he sees a huge plate of chocolate chip cookies, the steam rising from the plate, the chocolate chips still soft and gooey. He thinks, "God bless my devoted wife for giving me such pleasure in my final hours on this earth", and he then falls to the floor and crawls towards the cookies.

He gets to the table and, with the last ounce of strength he has left, reaches up with his hand to take a cookie. Just then, he feels the stinging Whack! of a metal spatula against his knuckles.

He looks up to see his wife standing over him, saying "Don't you dare touch those cookies, they're for the funeral guests!"
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Re: Death Bed

Postby OldUsedParts » Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:55 pm

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I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country—Victory or Death. William Barret Travis - Lt. Col. comdt "The Alamo"
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Re: Death Bed

Postby Boots » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:06 pm

I think I just got a hernia :laughing7:
BE WELL, BUT NOT DONE
Hank: "Do you know how to jumpstart a man's heart with a downed power line?"
Bobby: "No."
Hank: "Well, there's really no wrong way to do it."

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