The Texas BBQ Forum

APHORISMS FOR THE YEAR

it's not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.

We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun,
do they know it?

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENT'S MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don't succeed,
Skydiving is not for you

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then, things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers Give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge To produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that Three out of four people make Up 75% of the population

"I think Politicians should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could Identify their corporate sponsors."

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

BOOTS' Law No. 1 - The Inverse Theory of Problem Resolution:

The more you worry, the less disastrous a problem will eventually prove to be. The more you blow it off, the greater the chances yer arse will get shot off.

BOOTS' Law No. 2 - The Big Guy looks out fer Idiots and Small Children. (I am living proof).


I also like the one by W.C. Fields:

"Ya can't cheat an honest man".

I have one for the folks that "try" to get in my face

"Obviously you have me confused with someone that gives a bleep"