Country Primer 101

[OldUsedParts]

FARMER OR RANCHER?
By Baxter Black

There is a distinction in the livestock business between ranchers and
farmers. But how does a city slicker tell the difference? I have some guidelines that
should be helpful.

1. Ranchers live in the west. Except beet growers in Idaho, cotton farmers in
Arizona, prune pickers in California and wheat producers in Montana. Farmers
live east of Burlington, Colorado. Except for cattle ranchers in the Sandhills of
Nebraska, cracker cowboys in Florida, Flinthills cowmen in Kansas, and mink
ranchers in Michigan.

2. Farmers wear seed company caps except when they're attending the PCA
banquet, the annual cattlemen's meeting or going on a tour to a foreign country.
Ranchers wear western hats except when they're roping, putting up hay or feeding
cows at 30° below zero.

3. Ranchers wear western boots except when they're irrigating and sleeping.
Farmers wear western boots except when they go to town.

4. Farmers work cows a foot, on a tractor, a three wheeler, a motorcycle, in the
pickup, snowmobile, road grader, canoe or ultralight. Virtually any motorized
contraption except a horse. Ranchers work cows horseback.

5. Farmers can identify grass. Ranchers have trouble distinguishing grass
from weeds and indoor-outdoor carpet. Farmers think grass is green. Ranchers
think it is yellow.

6. Ranchers haul their dogs around in the pickup and pretend they are stock
dogs. Farmers usually leave their pets at home.

7. Farmers think a rope is good for towing farm equipment, tying down bales
and staking the milk cow along the highway. A rancher's rope hangs on the saddle
and is only used to throw at critters.

8. A rancher wouldn't be caught dead in overalls. A farmer never wears a
scarf or spurs.

9. Farmers complain about the weather, the market, the government, the
banker, taxes, county roads, the price of seed, equipment, veterinary work,
pickups, tires and kids. So do ranchers.

Now that I've made it perfectly clear, let's assume you see a man on Main Street
in Enid, Oklahoma. He's wearing western boots, a seed corn cap and has a pocket-ful
of pencils. He's driving his pickup complete with a dog, a saddle and a three
wheeler in the back. Which is he, a farmer or rancher?

He's either a rancher on his way to a roping or a farmer coming back from
the flea market. The only way to be sure is to examine his rope.
If it has more than
two knots in it, he's a farmer.