Watering the flowers

[Boots]

So as I sit here on my front porch, admiring the fresh spring weather, it reminds me of a true story.

Had an occasion about 20 years ago where the wife and I, recently married, we're invited to a backyard barbecue put on by two other couples at a house down in the snooty section of Dallas.The wives, who all knew each other and had worked together for years,promptly departed to the kitchen to have girl talk, and left us three heretofore un-introduced dudes standing around the Weber going through that guy thing where you talk about the weather, cars, sports, and barbecue of course. The other guest dude must have been a graduate of a Charles Atlas body building course, I keep seeing him flex his biceps and looking at himself in the reflection of the lid of the shiny new Weber and prattled on about the dangers of dead lift squats like a medical student in proctology.

The Lord of the Manor, we'll call him Phil to protect the innocent, was an egghead professor at the University down in town. His about three-year-old son was running around the backyard chasing butterflies and such. I noticed the kid was wearing nothing but a pull-up diaper and so I asked the Lord of the Manor how all that was going, mindful of the fact that my wife and I were getting our heads around having a kid at the time. The Lord waxed on philosophically about how well Phil Junior was doing, top of his day school class at the Little Human School, learned to talk at six months, blah blah blah probably for about 10 minutes. It was starting to get a bit irritating, as it was evident that Phil Junior was evidently perfect in Dad's cerebral mind, and you know there's probably nothing more boring than a dad that talks too much about his kid - I should know as I'm probably guilty of it. And then suddenly, out of the blue it and in front of God and everybody present, Phil Junior, presently careening around at a dead run, pulled up to a dead stop, shucked his pull-up to his ankles, and proceeded to water a dandelion flower smack in the middle of the yard. This went on seemingly for about three solid minutes. All was dead silent except for the never ending sound of the stream. The neck muscles of Charles Atlas next to me knotted up like he was gonna have a stroke to keep from laughing.

Phil the Lord of the Manor got this funny look on his face. Staring into hamburgers determinedly, he mutters just barely loud enough for the rest of us to hear, "Yep, everything is great except that stray chromosome from his mother's family."

Evidently, the ladies were eyewitnesses to the spectacle from the kitchen window, because when Lord Phil and his male cohorts rolled in from the backyard with the burgers he had flammed to a crisp, they were laughing their butts off. When Phil asked his wife what they were laughing about, she replied back tartly, "oh, we were just talking about the fact that all your family is from Kentucky and every last one of them pees in the yard".

Predictably, they divorced about 10 years later.

[Okie Sawbones]

[OldUsedParts]

it's a MAN THANG

one time my Mom and Dad were on a trip and Mom was driving while Dad sipped in the shotgun seat - - - about quarter way into the trip he had Mom pull over so he could take a 10-100 (CB lingo) - - while he was beside the car he commented "Don't you wish you had one of these?" - - - about 30 minutes down the road he asked Mom to pull over again and she just smiled and continued driving to my Sisters house Dad said his eyeballs were floating when they got there

if this is too much then feel free to delete

[Gator]

THATS funny.

[bsooner75]

Great story.

Growing up in East Texas one of our cousins potty trained his son by teaching him to pee on his truck tire. You should have seen the horror on the grandmothers faces the first time they stepped out of a family function for him to take a leak :)



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Twitter handle @bsooner75

[OldUsedParts]

one thing you teach your sons at an early age is "what happens at the Hunting Camp - stays at the Hunting Camp" - including the tradition of "We don't need no stinkin out house"